eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
is this the sara with the beer cane?
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
