so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
Randomize
