I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
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