He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Randomize
