i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize