i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
Randomize
