Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
Pants are for mortals
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Randomize
