I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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