you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
Randomize
