Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize