I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
