Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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