So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
they're like a gay fantastic four
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Randomize
