i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
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