Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
