The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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