Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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