just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
