Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Randomize
