What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize
