Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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