you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Randomize
