At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
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