Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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