just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
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