It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
