you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
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