My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
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