East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
