I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
