brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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