:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
