Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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