I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
