Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
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