what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
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