I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
Of course I have a pirate flag
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
Randomize
