just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
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