drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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