I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
