Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
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