I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
I don't think brook has ever known best
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
I looked at my own cervix.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
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