I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
we're so committed to being not committed
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
Randomize
