we have pet lesbian snakes
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize