Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
your like the ambassador to my penis.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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