Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
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