help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
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