if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
it glows. i had to have it.
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Randomize
