don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
