I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
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