Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize