How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize
