i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
