Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
