Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize