he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
Randomize