what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize