never play flip cup with pint glasses
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
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