WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Randomize