he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
Randomize
