I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
dude. I can hear the air.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Randomize