i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
Randomize
