Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
he high fived his dick after we had sex
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
